How do you respond?
I was just at a baby shower and the hostess was Chinese, but from Singapore. She thanked me 3 times for adopting Amelia and said quietly and only to me "you know what they do to girls there?" I only assume that this woman who was about my age was simply being genuine; but it made me uncomfortable...I never know what to say in circumstances like this.
I don't feel like I adopted because I wanted to do something great for a child; I adopted for me. I am not too proud to admit that...I needed to parent and couldn't justify bringing a child into the world to be raised in a single parent home when there are so many kids who don't have any parents.
Add to that the fact that I have no desire to be pregnant, to carry a child, or to give birth and adoption was really the only option for me.
I was also asked today if I had any children; my reply? "Amelia is my only child." Hello, she's sitting on my lap calling me Mom - YES I have a child!
This was a really nice shower; however, I kept wondering if the people there that didn't know me, thought that I felt sad that I didn't give birth to Amelia - and that being at a baby shower might make that worse. That is SO not the case, I brought Amelia into my family exactly as I wanted to and I am SO SO excited for my friends to be growing their family - in a way that is right for them. I can NOT wait to see how a little girl rocks their world:)
4 comments:
I'm sorry if you were made uncomfortable. I would of never wanted that. You know that I think you are one of the most amazing moms I know. Thanks for being there for us. I know our little girl will turn our world upside down. I can't wait for her to get here.
I'm like you...questions have been asked of me, and at the time I never know how to respond. The most astonishing is when your child is calling you mommy and people ask if you're their mommy???
Truly people can say some dumb and insensitive things. I think sometimes that they just don't think before they make comments or ask questions. When someone says something stupid to me, I usually come up with a good comeback an hour or so later. I need to get a little quicker with my snark.
It takes much more than biology that makes a woman a mother. It takes love, patience, kindness, dedication and so much more. It is a shame that a lot of people only focus on the DNA of it all. I have never met you Sharie but I know from reading your blog that you are a wonderful mother. And I enjoy reading about your and Amelia's jouney together. The next time someone asks a stupid question, just simply say I am the only mother she has.
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